do you believe the four-letter-lie?

LOOONNNGGG TTTIIIIMMMEEE!!

2005-08-28T18:26:35Z

WOW its been quite a while since i have been on here. right about now im here in Timmins, Ontario..about an 8 hour drive from Toronto. im here for my baby cousin Joshuas 1st birthday. hes my parents godson and his parents are Seth and Darius godparents thats why it was so important we be here. i left friday night but i will be back on monday sometime. not much exciting things happened since the last entry. i got an ATV as and early birthday present from my uncle and man am i happy its a 2004 HONDA Sportrax 250EX TRX250EX. i also got a paintball gun but i dont really have a use for it so i think im giving it to Mychel lol. i spent almost all my pay on buying clothes and it was fun..i dont buy lots of stuff often. on tuesday me and Sebastian are going down to Eatons so i could buy his birthday present. i miss all the "co-op" people right now..i dont spend a lot of time away from there but whatever only 1 1/2 days left.i havent seen Xavier in like a week i miss him too..that means Alexanders coming back yay! on august 22 i did something i never thought i would do with someone i would have never expected too...and now i think things are really changing. it was lot different when we were younger but i guess as we get older and our hormones are going crazy we cant control our feelings as much. but never mind that. im in need of going to another show..my energy is dying down and i need it to be pumped again at least before school. oh one thing i forgot to mention was that i saw Dallas Green and Death From above 1979 at The Edge at the end of July and it was AWSOME!! theres even pics of me and victor on the sites gallery. victors wearing a brown shirt and im wearing black and yellow. oh yea i got my braces off too...I CAN EAT CORN NOW!!!! lol. well yea i need to get off the computer but i hope everyone enjoys their last couple of days before school starts..BYE!

C A N A D A D A Y ! ! !...w a s s o g o o d

2005-07-02T20:08:27Z

i had such an amazing canada day ever!!! ok it all stared with my cousin victor who was going to EDGEFEST 2005..i was dying to go to it for the longest time well like since i heard about it for this year. anyways my mom went and got me a ticket to go with him and i was sooo happy. when me and him got there we started to look for familiar faces and we first saw amanda..a "chat kid" adn yea the we saw connor another "chat kid" with two other people with him named chris and michelle. and we pretty much hung out for the rest of the evening but yea..during the small performances it was just me victor and amanda..we saw brown when we were there too. and while victor was getting ready to watch the reason actually he was buying shirts first..but yea me and amanda were just standing around when "gasp!" she looked over and saw dallas green talking on the phone with his girlfrind standing beside him. it was soo cool. so when victor came back we went over to get autographs and what was so funny was victor was the only guy waiting there for and autograph.i have to say alexisonfire was amazingly amazing as always. billy talent surprisingly did well too. i totally forgot what i was doing but i do know i wanted to put up some pics from yesterday.

this is Dallas Greens autograph in my sketch book.

this was Dallas on stage..obviously not taken by me but yea..

this was Alexisonfire's banner behind them..also not taken by me

not taken by me either..this is the beautiful George Pettit singing into his microphone.

and this was my ticket to EDGEFEST 2005..the best way to celebrate Canada Day!

and that i hope concludes my review of a great night..oh yea i got this beautiful alexisonfire shirt which i dont have a pic of yet but yea bye!

constantanxiety @ 2005-06-23T00:21:00

2005-06-23T04:27:28Z

wow its been so long since my computer has been working..what sucks the most is that i had a whole lotta stuff just typed here and accidentally clicked on something else so it all got erased. which sucks. well im not typing it all again so im just gonna summarize it. i went to the mmvas with some friends, took really close up pic sof geaorge pettit and the rest of alexisonfire czu i was 2nd row center to their stage, i touched george a couple of times, he stepped on my arm when he came out into the crowd, he said "nice shirt" to me, i got head-butted by some guy with 2 mohawks. and yea that was basically it besides me mentioning i have one more exam left to do. bye!

heres the shirt i designed on then put on a tshirt transfer to put on my shirt for the mmvas.

updating...long time

2005-06-12T05:23:37Z

holy wow! its been so long since ive had an entry on here. the most recently new thing i have to talk about happened today. at 6:30 am me and xavier went down to muchmusic to get wristbands for the mmva's next sunday.we waited in line for 6 1/2 hours! which might sound lame but it wasnt that bad. actually it was..up until right now i honestly cant feel anything cold. im so worn out from being hot that im like permanently hot(not in that way obviously). anyways when we were like right down the street of getting the wristbands we met some friends. there were these really annoying ones behind us and really cool ones in front of us. the two behind us were these college ppl..a morena girl and a white gay sounding guy who like budded us and wanted to fight. and then in front were jake brittany and raisa. after we got wristbands we hung out with them for a while until we ate and went home. they live in like scarborough and we exchanged emails and all. im soooooo looking forward to sunday now!! me and xavier got the green writband for john st. k-os ciara and ALEXISONFIRE will be performing on that stage. the purple ones were for the parkinglot to see ashlee simpson billy talent the killers and the black eyed peas. if only ours were purple and theirs were green :(. i know for sure im wearing my special shirt. the front says "Mrs. Pettit" and the back says "I <3 ALEXISONFIRE". im sooo excited for next sunday anyways bye.

bored out of my mind..

2005-05-02T13:34:48Z

im in tech class right now and we really dont do anything here. im with sam and we're working on our website thingy that we have to do and it sucks cuz the teacher doesnt want to help us. we also had to do this tshirt thing but we never got to do ours cuz she never gave us the tshirt transfers and they're really good tshirt designs too. but so yea..i had an amazing weeekend starting from friday. friday was heathers birthday party and i had so much fun! im pretty sure everyone did. i had so much sugar that when i got home my mom thought there was honestly something wrong wit me. according to her and jade i was wearing wings and dancing with a tutu..wtf?? i really dont remember that. then on saturday it was mychels birthday and we went to go see XXX: State of the Union and i thought it was realy good..obviously not as good as the first one but it was good. after that we all came back to my house and just partied. henry, shaquille, kyle, bryan, adonis, christopher, nicholas, kiara, diane, jade and i think a few more kids too..it was fun. on sunday i went to another party and man was it SPANISH! hahaha...matilda loves the colour orange and almost eveything was orange it was cazy but i was okay with it considering i like that colour too. pop, balloons, almost all the food had some peice of orange coloured something on it. but i as so spanish cuz like its the first time in so long that i actually listened to and danced to spanish music. i have the Daddy yankee cd and i was listening to it all yesterday and so far today..i loke it lots :D. that song gasolina is god but its soooooooo annoying. and i have to go now..lo que paso paso..entre tu y yo. bye!

HELL!!!!!!!!!

2005-04-27T01:29:21Z

i dont know how blind i was. it was there the whole time and i never took advantage of it. he doesnt know what he has done to me..and i really wish he did. im fucking going through hell right now and he has to come along and add more stress and pain onto me!! is he stupid? like i miss him so much but what am i supposed to do..i cant run away from all my problems. ive gone through this like 2 or 3 times already but this time it seemed to hit me the worst. i was able to deal with it before because i never cared as much as i do now and because of that i feel like shit. especially knowing someone else is there in the way. the first time this year was on october 14 and that was a big impact on me..sure it brought us closer but it tore us apart at the same time. but the actual first time was last june-ish of grade nine. things started to change for me after we saw that movie. then like last month the big killer came where all truth was let out and that really scared me! but now this! what the hell am i supposed to do..i obviously cant talk to him about it cause he wont give a shit and im pretty sure no one else will either. he acts like nothing ever happened and we're not as close anymore which did bug me a bit but now i just gave up. its been too long and no productivity came from it so i give up. I GIVE UP!!!!

so far...

2005-04-26T00:54:53Z

its been quite a while since ive been on here. lots and lots has been going by for me lots of good and interesting stuff too. last weekend, i believe on the 16th i went to a smallman records show at the opera house and man was it good. it was the smallman tour with moneen, choke, brazil, comeback kid, ghosts of modern man and the reason. im going to another one on may 14 at the kathedral with comeback kid(again), terror, sinai beach and modern life is war oh yea thats gonna be good too. the one show im most amped about going to is edgefest 2005. the lineup for it is gonna be amazing! i got my tickets already too. yes!
RAIN OR SHINE EVENT
FEATURING ON MAIN STAGE: BILLY TALENT, ALEXISONFIRE, RISE AGAINST, STORY OF THE YEAR, COHEED AND CAMBRIA, JAKALOPE, KILLRADIO AND MORE..
FEATURING ON UNDERGROUND OPERATIONS STAGE: CLOSET MONSTER, BOMBS OVER PROVIDENCE, HOSTAGE LIFE, DEAD LETTER DEPARTMENT, THE FLATLINERS AND BRAT ATTACK
FEATURING ON THE NEXT BIG THING STAGE: THE WAKING EYES, THE REASON, THE JUNCTION, SOCIAL CODE AND OUT OF YOUR MOUTH
edgefest 2005 at the molson amphitheatre no recorders/audio/video FRIDAY,JULY 1,2005 doors open at 1:30pm. and yea im really excited about that one. ive bee spending my afterschool time if not on the computer or phone..outside. the weather has been good up until this weekend..like wtf?? im just glad i had some time last week to ride my bike...its time to come out from my basement and start staying in my kitchen again. since thats the easiest place to access it from. so yea ive been hanging out in the back "watching my brothers" and talking to xavier and sebastian. we have this special semi-secret triangle and its cool. ooh i cant forget i had accupunture done to the left side of my back and i dont know how thats supposed to help my back. i can dislocate my shoulder which is cool but painful but whenever i move my arms, thats right both of them, they crack really loud and sound like thay're gonna break off. i stayed up until 5:31 am yesterday trying to finish my stupid careers portfolio which i didnt even get to finish anyways so it was basically a waste of my sleeping time. 3 more days until heathers birthday...she say it all week and counting down. her party is on friday night which is gonna be pretty fun, mychels going to his frien dhenrys house for his birthday too. and then the day after on saturday is mychels birthady and hes turning 12, yay i get to beat up my little brother!! so yea i think thats all for right now since i gotta go but yea bye!

B-E-A-utiful Day..

2005-04-10T17:29:27Z

wow its been quite a long while since i wrote in here. well so far nothing seriously interesting happened today..but so it all started yesterday. it was such a beautiful day outside and almost all the kids in the co-op were out. everyone was barbequeing and playing loud music it was great. once 6:30 came around me my mom and my dad had to leave for his soccer game at 7. when he played with La Pobla it was a really good game especially since he was facing Ricardo Jara..and Marcelo was playing too *sigh*. anyways throughout his two games La Pobla and the old timer one Imberto Nelson(or something like that) i had to put my photography skills to work and take LOTS of pictures during the games. it was fun for me but i think it kind of distracted the players a bit..oops. and i believe something happened in between coming from soccer and watching SNL..with host: Cameron Diaz musical guest: Green Day and special appearances by: Jimmy Fallon, Drew Barrymore(who lost lots of weight) and Justin Timberlake. it was a great show last night mostly cuz Jimmy Fallon showed up :D and yea. i went to bed at like 3:48 am and i dont feel one bit tired today. i think thats all besides Alexisonfire won a Juno Award for all you people who didn't know.

look at that..new group of the year!

and just look at the wonderfulness of George looking at the crowd. yea..beautiful pictures and goodbye!

t hursda y n igh t

2005-03-25T03:21:28Z

im so bored so im just gonna type here the lyrics of the song i am listening to which is cygnus...vismund cygnus but part c) facilis descenus averni off the album frances the mute by the mars volta.

i count the days to find
what was left behind
only these names i clutch
will lead me to my home
somehow this river marks
a wrinkle hand in mine
and everyday that parts
the water into two
mothers and feathers start
to drown the living proof
i cant remember
these lakes of blood
wrapped in a blanket
there sweats a cut

who do you trust?
will they feed us the womb
chrome the fetal mirage
will they feed us the womb

who do you trust?
will they feed us the womb
chorme the fetal mirage
will they feed us the womb...

i saw the o.c. tonight and it was a good episode "the brothers grimm" but what sucks is that it wont be back on for two weeks which is april 7. tomorrow in the early afternoon i will be going to see the movie guess who with ashton kutcher and bernie mac..with my cousin, xavier, and carolina it shall be fun. hah in beteween the o.c. on commercials i would change my chanel to 26 to see the hour with george stroumboulopoulos and he did this one review called "finger lickin' good", and i thought it would be about food(obviously) but it was not what i expected. i forgot where but he said that some woman was eating chili from wendy's and came across something hard and when she took it out of her mouth it was like an inch of a finger or something which is really gross. anyways i gotta finish my solar system but yea bye.

constantanxiety @ 2005-03-22T21:08:00

2005-03-23T02:07:39Z

"victor's gotta getta milk shake that's why.." i said that today when victor came by and i just cant stop saying it, the "gotta getta" just rolls off your tongue and i love it :D. my day was so good at the beginning and as soon as it got to the afternoon it turned shitty. we "caff kids" sat at a different spot thins morning and i had my camera so i took lots of pics and since we were all laughing and having fun being loud and all everyone else kept looking over at us, especially the grade twelves that were sitting in there. a lot of them just got back from the dominican and some looked tanned while others either were burned or just had nothing. and it was hilarious when jon licked francescos hand and said its time to end the war or something like that, i wish i got a pic of the face francesco made when jon did that cuz we couldnt stop laughing. i think the best thing i heard all day today was in art class. ms. taddio is kinda touchy feely to bryan and he hates it so today when she touched his ack he unleashed on her and said for her to just stop touching him and to never touch him again well something along those words and it was so funny cuz the teachers face afterwards looked so sad almost as if he broke her heart or something, i swear it was priceless as was the look on francescos face. the other day i got this shirt from bluenotes that had a picture of mr. potatohead on it but everything about him was all mixed up and it says "why be normal?" i thought it was cute so i got it. today since we had like a special confession thingy, they didnt come to my class and i was so mad cuz i had lots to confess and stuff an by the time i realized they werent coming to my second period it was over! omg i saw wendy yesterday again, i havent really seen her since we graduated from grade eight especially since she goes to st. jos but oh well i dont know what my problem is she lives right down the street from me and yet we dont really keep in touch, im so stupid sometimes. its like almost nine o'clock and i havent eaten yet sadly, the food my grandma mad (since my mom is too sik to do anything) is like full of all this nasty green stuff and i dont mean to be picky but ireally dont want to eat it.BAGELS!!! haha i forgot to mention a few things like what im wearing for easter haha. my mom and dad went out on the weekend and since all my brothers are wearing pastel like colours for easter i said i wanted to too and for me the only colours to choose from were yellow and pink. so they came home and bought me this yellow button down dress with pink flowers on it, its soooo girlie but i can live with it. and my little brother with like this afro puffness afro got his hair cornrowed and he looks so gangster but still so cute then on the weekend its getting all shaved off. and theres this girl that added me on msn knowing who i am and all yet i dont know her and she says she heard about me from a friend :S and that im the one she should come to when it comes to "girls liking girls" a.k.a. lesbians, which is weird cuz i dunno where ppl would get that idea from unless they were at adams party in february so its kinda weird. and ya i think thats all..im gonna make a BAGEL and try and sleep bye.

b o r e d o u t o f m y m i n d

2005-03-19T21:47:58Z

im so bored right now so i thought i might do some of those quiz thing ppl do then paste the results on here..

You Belong in 1962

1962

If you scored...

1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!

1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

You scored as Art Freak. You artsy fartsy kid you. You rock my world.

</td>

Art Freak

69%

Loner

44%

Punk Ass Kid

31%

Loser

13%

Nerd

13%

Cheerleader/Jock

What's You're Sterotype?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Bisexual. You're a free-spirited bisexual. You like both guys and girls, and what someone has between their legs won't stop you from loving them.

</td>

Bisexual

92%

Big dyke!

42%

Trendy bi

42%

Straight

25%

How much of a lesbian are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

this one was soo jokes!

and now i have to go but i will continue later.

addition to previous entry

2005-03-17T23:04:16Z

i realized that there is another concert tour called SOUNDS OF THE UNDERGROUND with an amazing lineup too but i have no info on it besides the bands performing which are: Lamb of God/ Clutch/ Poison the Well(<3)/ Opeth/ Unearth/ From Autumn to Ashes/ Chimaira/ Gwar/ Norma Jean/ Every Time I Die/ Strapping Young Lad/ Throwdown/ High On Fire/ DevilDriver/ All That Remains/ A Life Once Lost
lots of HXC stuff going on with these bands and it looks like its also going to be an awsome show! later.

st. patty's day..

2005-03-17T17:03:27Z

happy st. patrick's day everyone!!i know its a special day today and i should be talking about that but i have other things on my mind.by the way i am in the spirit cause im wearing all green..well army green.

anyways what i had on my mind is deciding on which concert to go to..i want to go to both but my parents are only letting me go to ONE!
first there is OZZFEST 2005 which would be on july 21 in buffalo,ny @ darien lake
Main Stage: Second Stage:
-Black Sabbath -Rob Zombie -The Haunted -It Dies Today
-Iron Maiden -Killswitch Engage -In Flames -Soil Work
-??? -As I Lay Dying -Arch Enemy -Trivium
-Shadows Fall -Mastodon -The Black Dahlia Murder
-Black Label Society -A Dozen Furies -Bury Your Dead

next there is the VANS WARPED TOUR 2005 which would be on july 30(bryan's birthday) in toronto-venue TBA
Already Confirmed For 2005...
Academy Is / All American Rejects / Amber Pacific / Another Damn Disappointment / Armor For Sleep
ASG / Atreyu / Avenged Sevenfold / Bedouin Sound Clash / Billy Talent / The Bled / Bleed The Dream
Bleeding Through / Boys Night Out / A Change of Pace / Dead 60's / Dillinger Escape Plan
Dropkick Murphys / El Pus / Emery / The Explosion / Fall Out Boy / The Fight / From First to Last
Funeral For a Friend / Gatsby's American Dream / Go Betty Go / Gogol Bordello / Gratitude
Greeley Estates / Gym Class Heroes / Halifax / Hawthorne Heights / Hidden In Plain View / Hopesfall
HorrorPops / Hot Rod Circuit / Kinison / Left Alone (BBQ Band) / Mae / The Matches / Mest / Midtown
Millencolin / Motion City Soundtrack / MXPX / My American Heart / My Chemical Romance
No Use For A Name / The Offspring / Plain White Tees / Reggie & The Full Effect / Relient K / Rufio
Senses Fail / Silverstein / Skindred / The Starting Line / Strike Anywhere / Strung Out / Stutterfly
A Thorn For Every Heart / Thrice / Transplants / Tsunami Bomb / The Twenty Two's / The Unseen
Underoath / Valient Thorr / Yesterdays Rising / ZAO

the warped tour has so much more bands playing so far but the lineup for ozzfest might grow more.so ya im trying to decide which one is a better one to go to..and like i listen to and like almost all the bands listed for both concerts so its so hard..im gonna go bye!

my first half of march break...

2005-03-16T22:55:14Z

sunday
-plans almost got cancelled but we left really late…11:15ish pm
-i talked to heather just before i left
-more ppl came along than expected
-camerons sister desiree brought two of her friends
-went to niagra falls and the guys house we were supposed to stay at was having a party
-desiree cameron and nathan went in and stayed in
-me and jennifer hung out in the car the whole time
-surprisingly nathan was the sober one who took over the driving
-nathan resembled one of my ex bfs whos name was also nathan only this guy was a hot skater version.
-stayed the whole night/morning awake just thinking…
-but slept for 15 minutes

monday
-got up and moving at around 10 am hoping for no traffic (there wasnt much)
-stopped for a QUICK breakfast…bagels and coffee..first time i ever had coffee
-no offence but yuck!
-headed all the way over to oshawa which seemed like it took forever
-camerons stop to see his girlfriend..she was pretty and very nice and her parents were away so cameron had fun staying the night there
-as we left we saw my future house…we have to wait for till fucking owners are ready to move out for us to move in
-then we made it to peterborough...i slept the whole time going there and leaving
-i really didn’t get a chance to see it there
-i planned on visiting my friend there but he went away for march break and i found out short notice
-so we stayed with this guy chris and his friends who i met last year there and see every time i go there
-once again I couldn’t sleep at night…I only seem to sleep in the day not night
-vampire?? maybe

tuesday
-ate breakfast and got ready to pick cameron up from his girlfriends
-headed to woodbridge a.k.a. ginoville and spent the afternoon being disturbances in malls and theatres
-we scared the shit out of some kids cause we dressed all emo-punkish it was funny
-saw the pacifier and man of the house..both were good/funny
-did some shopping then headed back to the city
-sadly to my house for dinner
-ate, talked to heather quick and then left at 9pm
-went to des’ place for the night

wednesday
-its my nannys birthday so I went to visit her..surprisingly she lives a couple of blocks away from des’
-our mission today was to go into every store on queen st from ossington and queen to yonge and queen and yes our mission was successful
-sounds really stupid and pointless but it was fun
-after that i wanted to stop by new tribe across from Much Music
-and while we were there jennifer decided to get a “kiss”(made by lips) on her left ass cheek..i have to admit it was hot!
-sadly this was our last day together on this trip but I guarantee it wont be the last one we have

anyways that was my 3 ½ days of somewhat roadtrip, which was although short..but awesome!i think im gonna try and sleep in all of Thursday and hopefully wake up on Friday and be a swimsuit model..yeah right!i wish.maybe just wake up as a less hurt and confused person.BYE!!!

the picture

2005-03-12T02:27:07Z

oh and by the way the picture that is somewhere below this is a picture of raindrops...not anything else that sam put on her for me during tech class so ya just to corect things.

sick of this place..

2005-03-12T02:25:25Z

its finally friday!!!the day most ppl start leaving for their march breaks.hahah i feel sooo sorry for all those ppl going away that bought tickets from jets go(actually no i dont)cause those suckers went BANKRUPT!!!for many this may not be a laughing matter but for me it is..hahahahahahahahah!ok im gonna stop now.anyways just to clear something up the poem written the other day called unbearable hurt has nothing to do with a real person as i mentioned already it was part of a dream i had.im really sorry if ive said anything to offend anyone but im just not in the best mood..so much shit has been going on i cant take it anymore.all this stuff with the doctors and my mom and me and school its driving me insane sort of.and most of all i honestly dont know how to deal with it all.heather and desiree think theres something wrong with me since i havent "been myself" lately but nothings wrong..cause the things mentioned above are not putting me through no depression phase so even if there was something wrong i wouldnt know...yet. but ya i was talking to one of my friends named ashley and she wrote this wonderfulish kind of poem below..i dunno about the rest of u but i really enjoyed it only cause i can understand how shes feeling.and ya she let me put it up her since i like it so much.

"Friends No More

My tears to you mean nothing

You look past my crying eyes

I thought that you were my friend

But not after all the lies.

I sit alone in my room

Staring up at the ceiling

I wish I could put you through this

I wish you felt what I was feeling.

My scars to you mean nothing

I cherish them and remember

You were the cause of them

For what you did in December.

This morning when I awoke

I felt as if I were dead

I just laid there thinking

If I should get to get out of bed.

You are the cause of my grieve

You are the reason that I hate

For that I cannot forgive you

You can apologize, but it’d be too late."

i love this poem and im pretty sure others will like it too, my whole thing with this poem is that for me it didnt happen in december it happened in october!thank you ashley for this.im gonna get going now since i want to so ya bye!

a month and twenty-five days!!

constantanxiety @ 2005-03-10T09:21:00

2005-03-10T14:46:41Z

im in class right now but i want to post a poem i wrote last night only because i just want to.

UNBEARABLE HURT

of all horrible things to happen
why this? why me?
so much was going on
it took me a while to see

we would never be together
no matter how hard i wish it
i'm in a rage of fire, like
a match that'd just been lit

it happened so many times before
and he's left one scar already
i want to tear his head off
just like i did to my poor teddy

it's really quite funny
because i thought it would work
but little did i know
he turned out like a jerk

many mistakes have been made
but i'm not ready to move on
there's one thing i want him to feel
but he'll feel it when i'm gone

i've finally come to realize
that noting will be the same
which is why i'm slowly forgetting
every memory of "what's his name?"

and just to be clear this poem is not directed to anyone its just how i sort of felt about this dream i had last night..well when i took a nap earlier in the day. and ya that was the poem i just couldn't help but posting up.bye!

constantanxiety @ 2005-03-09T18:22:00

2005-03-09T23:22:50Z

today was such a crappy day. i didnt go to school so i stayed home with my ill mother and i watched the motorcycle diaries which is almost like a documentary about ernesto che guevara(i dunno how to spell his name) and it was a really good movie too. gael garcia bernal is such a hot spanish actor!i honestly dont care who reads this anymore but bryan found out i liked him and it was so weird for some reason. not a bad weird though. he told me he knows i still like him and that he only likes me as areally good friens nothing more and i was kinda thinking to myself that u know i don't STILL like him i just like him on and off.i know that we'll only ever be friends but i cant help the way i feel sometimes like i dont feel certain ways so ppl can find out then tell u they dont like u in that way..it would be common sense that i already know.ive gone through the same situation a few times. and ya imm not mad or anything i just wanted to let it out..that sounded so wrong haha. for march break im planning on going out of town just to get away for a little while well for three days im gonna go somewhere out of toronto but im not sure where and im gonna be with my friend cameron so its gonna be fun! and when i get back i really wanna go glow in the dark bowling with who i really dont know yet i just wanna go.i love doing yoga its such a stess reliever and then drinking some red bull right after somehow really calms me down.omg i forgot to say that mister im-too-cool-to-talk-cuz-i-have-a-gf-now said the mars volta "SUCK A**!" he is such an idiot..hes never even listened to them before. whatever.wednesdays and thursdays always seem to suck for me like i bet no one remembers Thursday, October 14, 2004 as good as me..that was such a hurtful day but thats why i'd like to say(not my words by the way) "the scars remind me that the past is real". well ya i need to wash all this off so goodbye!

~i wish i could collect all the tears u made me cry..so i could drown u in them!!~

nothingness

2005-03-02T14:55:32Z

im in school right now..comm tech specifically and i am soooo bored! my group is printing off our logos on special iron on paper. it has a skater guy on it saying "orange juice's" i dont know why its called that but i do know the logo is going to be bright pink on black t-shirts and thats cool. i was in class just typing here when i looked outside the lab and saw "vincent" standing out theretalking to his friends..when i looked over he came in! he like stalled so much time in here waiting for the cables to record the grease play that is being performed today. then he left..i realized that he like never wears his real school uniformi guess cuz hes in grade 12. and i honestly dont know why im talking about him if i dont like him anymore...i havent seen u know who yet but everytime i go to my bag during class i always find his jacket on top of my bag its funny. jon and heather..and jade are the only ones that know abut it and for some reason i think he knows. i really dont know what the hell is wrong with me. heather just walked in to the comm tech class when she should be in bussiness withbryan but shes here to see me! but no matter what i love her!<3 heather and ya im gonna go now bye!

constantanxiety @ 2005-02-28T19:36:00

2005-03-01T00:36:22Z

ok i originally wanted to have this written for friday, february 25, 2005 but im just getting around to it today. i had it going that saturday morning but i couldnt finish it so i saved it..now im going to copy and paste it on here.

"at eight o'clock today on muchondemand i saw the video premier of the no transitory video by alexisonfire and honestly i thought it would have been better. the song is AMAZING but i dont think the video will live up to the greatness of the song. one of the whole reasons why i watched the video was to see george..but i was a little disappointed cause they didnt show enough of him dancing and stuff but oh well. and i agree with the alexisonfire site cause steele really did own the video! so ya that was my review of the no transitory video by the one and only band ever ALEXISONFIRE!!!!!

No Transitory

i'm in a constant state of getting cut
so why don't i feel anything?

this is a violation

maybe i forgot what it was like
before it entered me

so this is what they call
another endless night
so tired of believing
if this is wrong or right
i think this cause is lost
i wish that i could sleep
i feel like some kind of shadow
another slave to the week
imagine if we lived
under the weather
we would never be found
never discovered
if everything goes wrong
if its one more endless night
you know theres always tomorrow
and tomorrow…
they’ll know theres always tomorrow

and this knife this knife
it is my most important appendage

so now that your whole world
has gone up into flames
this night is still never ending
do you think youre still safe?
Seems everything went wrong
We were discovered
But this time theres no tomorrow…

and this knife this knife."

and ya that was my entry for that day...too bad it wasnt doe on the day i planned. oh well. bye!

got this off heather who got it from emma who got it from taryn...

2005-03-01T00:16:49Z

(1) Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it:

(2) Am I lovable?:

(3) How long have you known me?:

(4) When and how did we first meet?

(5) What was your first impression?

(6) Do you still think that way about me now?

(7) What do you think my weakness is?:

(8) Do you think I'll get married?:

(9) What makes me happy?:

(10) What makes me sad?:

(11) What reminds you of me?:

(12) If you could give me anything what would it be?:

(13) How well do you know me?:

(14) When is the last time you saw me?:

(15) Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?:

(16) Do you think I could kill someone?:

(17) Describe me in one word.:

(18) Do you think our friendship is getting stronger, weaker, or staying the same?:

(19) Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?:

(20) Are you going to put this on your LJ and see what I say about you?:

some randomness

2005-02-23T04:34:13Z

this is just some random poem i rote in my lifeless time feeling really bored and at the time it was directed to someone who in some way hurt me, it was written by me sometime in october 2004.

ALIVE AND BROKEN

i watch everyday as you pass me
the sweet little smile you give her
oh, if only you couuld remember
just how happy WE were

since the day you met her
you havent been the same
always smiling and laughing
and constantly saying her name

its driving me crazy
i wish you were here
to see all my pain
to count every tear

i cant take it any longer
this game is not fair
i wish id never met you
for this pain i cannot bear

i have no more to say
for the last words have been spoken
i wont take them back
cause im ALIVE AND BROKEN

and ya that was the poem...yes i kno it was crappy i just put it up for honestly i really dont know oh well see ya.